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Contact Tree
This what I’m going to look like in about 35 years. God I’m depressed…
I’d like to thank everyone who volunteered to monitor my parents when I am in Singapore next week. What I have done is set up a contact tree from which my parents can reach out to people. Jodi Hall has been gracious enough to be there first contact person. However if due to the upcoming cyclocross nationals she becomes unavailable, Slover will be reached. And as you can tell from the above photo, my dad was the original metrosexual. Look at that bandanna tied rakishly around his neck! Very stylish!! From there Noel is up next. Noel if you could reinforce with my parents some age-appropriate behavior modifications I would appreciate it. Finally Bikes Gone Wild is also on the contact tree and in fact my dad wants to hang out with you and drink, fight, discuss bikes and the correct pronouncation of the word “whores.” Again thanks for all your help and hopefully the British or Irish Consulate will be able to bail them out of any major problems.
…for your sake, i hope noel is good w/ his be-hav-mods cuz lord knows if yer dad & i hit the local ‘mayflower pub’, after a few of arthur guinness’s lovely stouts & a round or two of darts, we could find ourselves out back in a dust-up w/ some ‘limey bastards’…excuse me, i meant to say “a political discussion w/ some english gentlemen”…
…as far as bikes are concerned, if i’m not being politically incorrect here, check out todays velo-news ‘site of the day’…probably some chaps yer dad might’ve known…
…cheers, mates…
your mom already called me.. we’re all going to kat vondee to get clinger tattoos. are those a-cups (your dad.. not your mom.. jeez)?
i don’t modify behavior.. my patients just bask in feeling normal because i’m so effed up. i call it contrast therapy. i’m the contrast.
doood… you work too hard. can’t you just make-up the race report? you know… mud, cold, laps, jumps barriers, go bike racers! trebon wins!
please take pictures of sasha’s speedvagen, some zancanados, and spinelli’s sachs bike for me. i’ll have your mom off the pole by the time you’re back.
(note to self; learn how to hypnotize people)
noel.
ps.,
also.. just to give your fine publication the insider tip.. i’m pretty sure jessica alba is pregnant with my baby. i have pictures (this is true, i do have pictures). yes they are heavily photoshopped and i’ve never met her…. but i was smoking salvia (look it up on youtube) and traveled through another dimension and ‘did’ her.
peace,
noel
…contrast therapy, noel…that is most excellent…
…you are opening previously unknown doors of behavioral justification for me…
…too bad you are tied down w/ that day job…your work ‘on the side’ must be rewarding…
bgw,
you know, the gig is shrink.. the side gig is about being the most unjustifiably sponsored sucky masters cat 3 fredrick ever to roll in history. i’m not actually training this year.. i’m just going to get lipo. i do think oprah nailed it… aim low and focus on my favorite things.
hey.. i just got a text from neil’s dad.. he at a ‘bear’ bar and wants to know if he should get a tossed salad. he said nate would know what this means. he also said.. ball is a douchebag…
hmmmm.
noel.
…”most unjustifiably sponsored sucky masters cat 3 fredrick ever to roll in history”…
…and yet they revere you like a god…proving that wool is a great material for cycling, as you’ve successfully managed to pull it over their eyes…
…awesome…envy, envy, envy…