For those who, on a whim, clicked my link from Mike Cushionbury’s blog at Bicycling.com and is looking for the best bikes under $600, tips to climb faster in ten days or some feel good story, immediately hit the “back” button. For those intrepid readers who are Bicycling Magazine readers I congratulate you for continuing. Now you might be wondering why Cush has linked me to his massive Bicycling Magazine site. Cush and I have a back-story. We’ve known each other for over 15 years when we both worked in retail hell at a bike shop. Somehow we’ve stayed in the industry one way or another. Cush has been in the magazine side much longer than me and is truly a seasoned veteran of the publishing game. And right now he is doing some mountain bike stage race in Canada from which he is blogging. And I’m sure he’ll have delightful stories of overcoming adversity. Let me give you the real scoop. He’s done these types of events before and I admire him for lining up. However Cush chokes more times than a two dollar whore. Now I really do love the guy, but in one stage race he dropped out 40 minutes into the first stage! What the hell! Now somehow he’s suckered Specialized to let him race on some kind of mountain bike. Just to be clear, Cush on his worst day with me on my best and he’d still stomp mud holes in me on the bike. In my own defense Cush’s job at Bicycling is to just be Cushionbury. Editorially wise his day is filled with writing pithy sentences on what’s hot or not on some bike or how he’s riding something cool and you’re not. My day is filled with phone calls, conducting interviews, transcribing, writing reviews and miscellaneous crap that pops up. That doesn’t leave me with a lot of training time. Our typical phone call exchanges go like this;
Cush: “What are you doing?”
Cush: “I just got done doing the lunch ride on the new (insert new bike or product here).”
Me: “Go screw yourself!”
Cush: “Hey, what’s your little magazine’s circulation? I think we give away more than you sell.”
Me: “God I hate you!”
Magazine circulation is a penis measuring contest. It’s kind of a secret, but you also want everyone to know how big it is.
Bicycling Magazine readers don’t despair. He’s been doing some top secret training with Floyd Landis while checking out the new Dura-Ace electronic shifters. And I’m sure he won’t quit right away so continue to read his posts. I really do hope my little buddy finishes. I will also continue to read his posts and break down the b.s. and give you the real scoop.