Neil Browne Guide to Tour de France
The Tour de France is one of the biggest sporting spectacles on the planet. I won’t bore you with the metaphors of riders suffering or how competing in the 21 stages is the equivalent to running a marathon everyday. Instead let’s focus on something that really matters – having a good time while waiting for shit to happen.
I dare you to find someone who loves cycling more than me. However, I do recognize that there are times when nothing that exciting happens (example – most of the Dauphine). And let’s face it, the sport of cycling isn’t the only one afflicted by momentary lapses in the action. Our national pastime is filled with so much downtime that it’s not unusual to see fans falling asleep in the stands and players continually adjusting their nuts to beat the monotony (“Hmm…does it feel better hanging toward the left or right?”). But don’t despair, we have the solution to help beat any and all downtime during the Tour de France.
As the riders roll along the French roads the scenery will be littered with cycling tifosi who have probably been imbibing as they sat under the hot July sun. This makes for some rather poor choices not normally done in a more sober state of mind. Case in point – male genitalia. You’ll see it painted on the roads like it’s an arrow pointing the way to the finish. So while some of the American viewing public might blush, lets embrace it with a hearty swig from our drink of choice. This is just one example of drinking opportunities that are a part of what we affectionately call the Tour de France drinking game.
Being a cycling announcer is not an easy job. They not only need to be well versed in cycling, they also need to drone on about it for hours at a time. As is the case, announcers often use the same tired cliches time and time again. So instead of rolling our eyes at another, “dancing on the pedals” cliché it’s time to upturn your cup and look forward to the next worn-out phrase that they will eventually cough up like a disgusting fur ball. It’s all about turning lemons into lemonade.
While fans of others sports can be found hanging around local sports bars in droves, cycling fans can pull up their favorite recliner (or office desk chair) in our virtual sports bar – TourChats. Cycling fans cheer on their favorites, join in the witty banter, play games, win prizes and kill time at work as you watch France’s national tour. It really is a win-win situation, so drop in and join us starting at 8 AM EDT until the racing ends.
2011 TourChats Tour de France Schedule
- Sat July 2 – Stage 1 – Sponsored by Cycling Fans
- Sun July 3 – Stage 2 – Sponsored by @DivasTourFrance
- Mon July 4 – Stage 3 – Sponsored by Carolina Cycling News
- Sat July 9 – Stage 8 – Sponsored by @JulieHarden
- Sun July 10 – Stage 9 – Sponsored by @Cyclismas
- Tue July 12 – Stage 10 – Sponsored by TotalCyclist and Carolina Cycling News
- Wed July 13 – Stage 11 – Sponsored by Cycling Fans
- Thu July 14 – Stage 12 – Sponsored by Athlete’s Audio
- Fri July 15 – Stage 13 – Sponsored by @J_Tubb
- Sat July 16 – Stage 14 – Sponsored by @BGreene1
Week 3 – Sponsored by The Sufferfest
- Sun July 17 – Stage 15
- Tue July 19 – Stage 16
- Wed July 20 – Stage 17
- Thu July 21 – Stage 18 – Sponsored by Warpia
- Fri July 22 – Stage 19 – Sponsored by Carrie Cheadle, M.A., Sport & Exercise Mental Skills Coach
- Sat July 23 – Stage 20 - Sponsored by @J_Tubb
- Sun July 24 – Stage 21 – Sponsored by Pedal Chic