So you’ve been blocked

Eventually it happens to all of us. You’re on Twitter and a certain someone’s tweets no longer show up in your feed. You swear you follow them, but you double-check anyways – just to be sure. Strangely your Twitter client of choice reports you’re not following that person. You quickly click “follow” but it won’t allow you – you’ve been blocked.

In Elisabeth Kubler-Ross famous book, On Death and Dying, she describes the five stages of grief which I’ve adapted to Twitter.

Denial: “It can’t be happening. It must be the Fail Whale’s fault”
Anger: “Why me? It’s not fair. I only (mocked his intelligence, questioned his race tactics, called a family member a derogatory name, declared he was a doper)”
Bargaining: “Just let me see one more update about (his evening, who he’s eating diner with, his children’s after-schools activities, how his training ride/life is so much better than yours)”
Depression: “I’m so sad, why bother following anyone? What’s the point of even following @Fakefloydlandis?”
Acceptance: “It’s going to be OK. I can still follow @Alyssa_Milano“.

Unfortunately there’s a journey before you arrive at acceptance of the reality that you’ll no longer get 140 character updates from your person of choice. Realize you’ve been blocked and seek out others who have been blocked by that same person. Some people block others as often as you change your socks, so you’ll probably find a group rather easily. Talk among your fellow blockees and let the emotions flow – “He’s a dick and I’m glad he blocked me. He only twittered stupid stuff anyways!”

Once you’ve accepted that you were blocked you need to let it go and give it to a higher power – Oprah or the afore mentioned Alyssa Milano. Follow these ladies and allow the bliss to wash over you like gentle waves of contentment.

Finally, continue to be involved in Twitter. Don’t let the occasional blocking ruin your experience of casting your opinion onto the Internet. Remember, a complete cure is almost impossible. It’s a daily battle. However, if you really need to know what’s going on in that person’s Twitter feed, you can do a search. Once again you’re privy to such juicy tidbits of information such as their favorite meal.

However, if none of this works, just write a blog and throw everyone under the bus. Oh, and drink too.



  1. Michelle says:

    I do like the way Kevin Smith blocks people – he quotes their assholish tweet and then notifies the entire Twitterverse that the person is KA-BLOCKED as he says. So there’s no need to go through the above, and there’s the added bonus of the world finding out what happened.

  2. christian says:

    crap. i just realized i had been venting about you on the blocked by @neilroad message board, and you haven’t even blocked me yet….awkward….oh well, it was only me and lance in their anyhow.

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