The parents are gone and I need to apologize

My Parents chilling back at the shire

For the five of you who read my diatribe/blog on a semi-regular basis I apologize for the lack of postings. My excuses are varied and many. After my parents left the States and returned to the shire, it was the holidays, then we had a magazine due and I’ve been captivated by the Britney Spears and K-Fed child custody court case, which has been a bigger time suck than my Wii. And speaking of completely wacky people I need to make a few apologies. First off I would like to offer my sincerest apologies to Jodi Hall. When I gave my Dad your number as a contact I had no idea he would use it to drunk dial you and rail against cyclocross. My Dad’s comments about ‘cross racers not being real men because they only race for an hour was completely off-base. For the record to be a real man doesn’t mean you have to race for eight hours at a time in the snow all season long. Also my Dad has no real proof that he beat Fausto Coppi in the Berkinshire road race, so Jodi please disregard that statement. And as I am apologizing, Noel thanks for being at my parent’s competence hearing after that little “incident” in front of the British Embassy and vouching for them. The embassy has now reopened and the windshield of the ambassador’s cars has been replaced. Slover thanks for keeping my parents looking stylish for the mentioned competence hearing. It’s one thing to be crazy, but it doesn’t mean you have to look crazy. Bikes Gone Wild I think my parents will miss you more than me and you have a standing invite to visit them. Thanks to you my Dad will be using such charming phrases such as, “keeping my pimp hand strong,” and “I’m a playa” back at the village to the delight of the other pub denizens. And to all the people who were startled by the blue Ford Focus rental car driving on the left-hand side of the road my sincerest regrets. This blog now returns to its usual mindless ramblings about all things Neil.


  1. Jodi says:


    Apology accepted… since he’s your dad, I took everything he said with a grain of salt…..

    (although had I known about his anti-‘cross leanings, I might have left him in jail a little longer…)


  2. john says:

    Hahahah….Next time we need to visit your parents..I like what your dad said about cross..That’s some funny shit!!

  3. Anonymous says:

    when your dad asked me if i wanted to ‘taste his tea-bag’ i thought he meant something completely different… and all i can add is that i’ll never look at used chewing gum, elephants, and slover’s text message photos of his hemorrhoids (yes, he does do that)… and not recall watching in horror as your dear sweet father tried to give that car windshield a dirty sanchez. i guess they don’t have vw beetles in ireland and he thought the car was anna nicole and i couldn’t stop him.
    (i should never read your blog after paraphelia night at work).

    um…. more importantly… i want to get dr phil and britney together to race next year with me. i can’t think of a team name that’s suitable… maybe team depakote/
    i wonder if i can get mr. ball in on it (code name: zoolander)? you up for it? i’m planning on getting a $11k bike and showing up at cbr before the 100k 1/2’s and pretending to warm up and then just watch from the scoring truck and blame my 5k wheels for not being right for the crosswinds. i think i can make a season out of it.
    new rule this year… you can race any category you feel like and the categories don’t have numbers like before…
    they have ‘vision boards’. you pin-up the things you aspire to posses and they group you together according to taste level. it should be good.


  4. bikesgonewild says:

    …it was nothing but a pleasure & when i visit ‘old blighty’, allow me to put in a good word for you…

    …you might mention to your dad that the ‘young ladies’ he approached in the bar that night, who looked like they ‘might be free’ as he so gallantly put it, both ended up at my place on his invitation…
    …don’t know where your dad ended up, but it turned out they were only half-way to being ladies & they certainly weren’t free as they were both looking to pay for their operations…

    …nothing like gold lame’ & early morning shaving stubble…”not that there is anything wrong w/ that”…but i’ll be awhile living that one down…

  5. bikesgonewild says:

    …interesting…when i posted a moment ago my google thingy didn’t come up, but now it’s working…

    …please pass ‘best wishes’ on to your parents (from all of us, i’m sure)…they’re great & fun sports…

    …your post here w/ apologies & comments was extremely funny for those of us ‘in the know’…very good laugh…thanks…

  6. Anonymous says:

    jesus dude. work less, blog more. i’ve got a huge gap between patients and nothing to perv until britney leaves court. i’m not feeling doing paperwork… so,
    i’ll just google-stalk speedvagens… but c’mon.. would it kill you to write some crap here? jeeeeeeeez.

    would you ask slover to write an article for the mag about grammar for bikers on myspace?


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