Training is over rated

It is getting nearer to Cross Vegas which should mean one thing, I should be training. Unfortunately that hasn’t been the case. Damn work and travel has screwed up my plans to dominate the Media category at the race. Neighbor Tony Cruz has been talking smack about how he is doing to kill it at Cross Vegas. At the time I told him he’d better bring his “A” game as I’m not only bringing it, but I have already brought it. Well the only thing I’m bringing to Vegas this year is a case of Red Bull and cheap vodka. So I’m going with plan “B”, I’m getting completely plastered during the race. However when I need advice about such things I know of only one other person to talk to, Thomas Browne, otherwise know as dad.
“Did you finally do the E’tape yet?”
“Yeah dad, I told you about it.”
“Ay I remember now. You really buggered that one up!”
“Yeah whatever. I got a question for you. I’m doing ‘cross at Interbike and I haven’t been training. I figure I’ll just get plowed during the race from beer hand-ups. Suggestions?”
“That’s the most sensible thing I’ve heard you say in a long time. Did I tell you the time when my squad did a ‘cross race in Wales completely snuckered?” From there it is a ten minute story of how the youngest guy on my dad’s team passed out during the race and almost drown in a puddle, which, of course is very hilarious. And he asks about the Bikes Gone Wild guy. So with my dad’s blessing I’m going to be looking for beer hand-ups during the race. Ideally be placed at the run up barricades as I will already be off my bike and can grab one. Don’t worry they don’t need to be cold.


  1. Anonymous says:

    time to learn the secret ways of faking a flat and rolling in all flustered and disappointed because you knew you’d kill it.

    the secret is don’t eat for a week so you look skinny and pissed off, and use tons of baby oil on your legs. find a spot on the course where you can dismount and let the air out without bering obvious.
    toss the bike down in frustration. call everyone ‘bro’.

    i swear it will work.


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