I’m pinning it to win it in Vegas

So I’m chilling watching my Tivo’ed episodes of Frisky Dingo when my cell phone snaps to life. My ring tone of the week? Cat party. Anyways I digress. It’s one of the promoters of the Vegas Cross race giving me a call. We exchange pleasantries and he starts to get into the reason of this phone call.

“So you’re racing the cross. We’re happy to have you there.”

“Hell yeah I’m racing! I’m going to kick ass and take names!” I’m in full blarney mode now and just getting started.

“That’s great. I heard you were going to get beer hand ups during the race.”

“Hell yeah I am! Booya!” I really don’t know what “booya” means but I saw it on MTV and thought it sounded cool.

“Yeah…the problem is that you can’t get unauthorized beer hand-outs during the race. It’s actually against the UCI rules.”

“UC who? Are those guys still in charge of anything?” Now my excitement for getting slightly intoxicated while racing is slipping away. I know my dad, at whatever pub he’s posted up at, is laughing at me.

“Yeah, you can’t drink while racing. And if you do take anything you’ll be disqualified”

So now I’m changing my strategy. I’m attacking from the first lap and leading it from soup to nuts. Then I’m getting sloppy.